Beyond the handshake: Building meaningful professional relationships
Growth in the profession rarely happens alone.
I was drawn to architecture through a fascination with bridges, tunnels, and skyscrapers—and a curiosity about planned communities and biospheres. I didn’t grow up around architects. Apart from one relative living abroad, I had no clear examples of what an architect’s career looked like. I had to find my way into the profession on my own.
In high school, I contacted my local AIA chapter in hopes of finding an internship. They connected me with a small firm where I worked during the school year and returned to during college. I still keep in touch with the principal today. That early experience showed me that architecture—like most careers—is shaped not just by skill or education, but by relationships.
My ability to grow in the profession has been made possible by the people I’ve met along the way. I’ve come to see myself as a connector—someone who finds energy and purpose in linking people, sharing insight, and building community. While much of our work may be done independently, growth in this profession rarely happens alone.
Whether you’re just starting out or years into practice, here are seven ways to build and sustain the professional relationships that shape a fulfilling career.
Start early and start where you are.
You don't need a license—or even a degree—to begin making connections. My first connections came in high school, through the internship I actively sought out. Today, I encourage students and emerging professionals to do the same: reach out, ask questions, and get involved.
Some of the students I now mentor found me through mutual friends, community ties, or through a sleepaway camp that has been part of my family for three generations. What matters most is simply taking that first step.
Architects tend to be expressive by nature. We’re trained to present, pitch, and articulate ideas. That makes us especially receptive to people curious about the field. Don’t hesitate to start a conversation. You might be surprised who’s willing to respond.
Don't look for one mentor. Build a network.
One of the biggest misconceptions I see is the idea that mentorship is a one-to-one relationship. In reality, the most resilient professionals build a network of mentors—each offering guidance in different areas of life and work.
Just as a successful project depends on collaboration between architects, engineers, and consultants, professional growth thrives on insight from a diverse team. Some mentors help with design. Others offer business advice, career strategy, or personal guidance.
It’s not about finding one advisor. It’s about assembling a strong, interdisciplinary framework of support—one that can evolve as you do.
Nurture relationships, even when you're not looking.
In 2009, the firm I was working for shut down during the lingering effects of the economic downturn. I had graduated a few years earlier and had become active in my local AIA chapter's Women in Architecture Committee. Through that involvement, I developed a network of supportive colleagues, one of whom invited me to interview at her firm. That connection turned into a job offer.
Another time, I reconnected with a mentor I had interned with early in my career. When I returned to the area unexpectedly, we caught up, and that relationship led to a short-term role at his firm that helped me navigate a professional transition while I figured out my next step.
These opportunities didn’t happen by chance. They came from showing up, staying in touch, and building relationships before I needed them.
Show up and give back.
Some of my most formative connections have come from volunteering. I’ve served on a graduate alumni board and currently represent my state through AIA’s Small Firm Exchange. I regularly participate in school career days, STEM and STEAM weeks, and local programs designed to introduce students to the profession.
One of the most meaningful efforts I’m involved in is AIA’s K–12 Initiatives, which follow a blueprint with three goals: to inspire youth to learn about the power of design, nourish curiosity through design thinking, and connect students with architects and design professionals.
These experiences are not only opportunities to give back—they’re also ways to stay connected to the future of the profession and to the values that drive it forward.
Leave well and stay honest.
At one point in my career, I left a role to pursue a new opportunity that promised greater flexibility and a leadership track. Though it seemed like the right move, the firm’s culture ultimately wasn’t the best fit. Still, that transition became a lesson in how to navigate change with integrity.
I reached out to my previous employer—not to ask for anything, but simply to express gratitude and share where I was. That conversation led to a renewed opportunity at the firm—one that reflected a sense of mutual respect and a professional path forward.
Not every decision will be perfect. But how you manage transitions can preserve the relationships that matter most.
Create the support system you need.
When I launched my firm in 2021 during the COVID-19 pandemic, I felt isolated and missed the support that comes from day-to-day team interactions and collaborative exchange.
I knew several peers who were also starting their own practices, so I created a group where we could talk, trade ideas, and support one another. I called it the Solopreneur Club.
What began as occasional Zoom calls evolved into a powerful peer network. We trade business strategies, project tools, and practical advice. We’ve met in person, referred work to each other, and helped one another navigate challenges.
Support doesn’t always come from someone further along in their career. Sometimes, the best guidance comes from peers facing similar obstacles in real time. Reaching out—and being open in return—can create lasting, mutually beneficial connections.
Relationships are commitments, not transactions.
I’ve mentored students from both of my alma maters, aspiring architects I’ve met through a longstanding camp community, and high schoolers with no formal access to design programs. I’ve reviewed portfolios, hosted Zoom calls, and taken students to local AIA house tours. These aren’t obligations. They’re investments in the future of the profession.
I also stay in close contact with consultants, engineers, and especially product reps—people who move between firms daily and often know who’s hiring, building, or expanding. These connections are often overlooked but deeply valuable.
Relationships don’t maintain themselves. They require gratitude, follow-up, and mutual care—but they’re one of the most meaningful parts of our work.
The Bigger Picture
As part of the AIA Business Academy, I've seen how foundational strong relationships are—not only for personal development, but for sustainable business growth. Whether you're launching a solo practice, building a team, or supporting others in your firm, the ability to form and nurture authentic professional connections is one of the most valuable assets you can cultivate.
Final thoughts
As architects, our influence is often limited to our own work product. But as mentors, peers, and connectors, we have the power to shape careers, support communities, and expand the reach of our profession.
Networking isn't about collecting contacts. It's about building trust, showing up, and sharing what you know—even when there's no immediate benefit. The people I've met through architecture have shaped my path in lasting ways. Now, I'm proud to pay that forward.
While we may design homes and buildings, it's our relationships that define our careers.
Lori Apfel Cardeli, AIA, is principal of Lori Apfel Cardeli Architecture, PC, and a member of AIA's 2025 Business Academy cohort.